Outside of Tik Tok I never put myself on display quiet like this. However now that I’ve entered my anti-hero phase in life, my self-consciousness has melted away. I don’t and refuse to apologize for how things make me feel. There is a big difference between intent and impact. Just because someone’s intentions weren’t to do harm, doesn’t mean the impact won’t be damaging. I will be holding men accountable for every syllable that they say.
After what happened yesterday and I sat with the situation as a whole I decided to send the post I wrote about Chicago Bae directly to him. I rather him get the link directly from me then anywhere else. I’ve already accepted the fact being friends may not be on the table after this and I will be ok with that. I wasn’t aggressive in my feelings but affirmative. Before I would be nervous for a reaction. Now I just brace myself for impact if any and carry on.
I will say there was a small glimmer of hope that I haven’t felt since my ex. Which tells me that its possible for me to find someone who gets me and accepts me. Its a long process and I will not settle for anything less. Also standing firm in what I will and will not accept. I also need to let go of the fear of others opinions of me. I know who I am and what I am not but I do recognize now that the impact I have on being affirmative in my stance I cannot control.
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