This one right here is a lesson I tell myself everyday. Considering the horrible shape dating is in, even during supposed “Cuffing Season” I probably won’t find anyone anytime soon. Plus when you are living in a Judo-Christian country that pushes their teaching to a point that it shapes our society, makes it rather difficult to find someone to be a renegade with you.
The relationship dynamic that I would like to have is a husband and a boyfriend. I clearly nailed the husband part. Finding a man that is ok with not only not marrying me but to also have his own partners that understand the dynamic is even more challenging. Most women do not want to share a man. Most men unfortunately when they hear poly think its a experiment. The one thing I will not be is “something to do” until you meet “the one” My ex taught me that.
So as I patiently wait I make sure I ask the right questions from the beginning. I expect more failures then success because most men want to have legacies to carry their name not realizing all the x-factors that come with it. They are just programed to do what society expects from them. There are a few free thinkers but having the other components to go with it that will make for a long term connection is something else entirely.
Also like in Poly Lesson #1, letting go of my expectations sometimes will lead to possible better results. I mean I have to be realistic here, sure I can have as many partners I can handle but my need for that many isn’t great. So not every guy I talk to is going to make the cut anyway.
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