Dating While Poly: Triggers

I was going to do a post about a guy I use to date but realized I didn’t remember very much about him. He was a content creator ( like seriously he brought a huge camera everywhere), tall, cute and at times aloof. Now I must admit I was kinda drunk the last time I saw him so the details are fuzzy. I can’t remember how but a statement was said that rubbed me the wrong way and didn’t seem to bother him. Something about dating should be fun to which I said that it also shouldn’t be so casually done because of human emotion. We argued but calmed down after a point and said goodbye. Who knew it would be the last time.

I realized that after my ex I have a SHIT ton of triggers. Its kinda annoying it subconsciously done and not intentional. This should be fun. Let’s go over my triggers:

  1. Anything African ESPECIALLY if its from Benin – my ex’s gf is from there.
  2. Foreign accents because my ex left me for a exotic accent (one of his reason supposedly)
  3. Spiderman – my ex’s favorite character, especially Miles Morales
  4. Any guy that says their “experimenting with ENM
  5. Anytime the word vibe, chill or fun is the first set of words used in reference to me on a dating app

Now how do I live with said triggers. I do several thing but the main thing I always remember is that God is ultimately in control but that I have to choice to make myself happy. To not allow triggers to run my life. Can I eliminate them, no I can’t but I can learn to live with them and not react like I use to. I also remember that it won’t always be this way. Things in life tend to work themselves out and one day my triggers won’t leave me in a dating choke hold.

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