Dating While Poly: Flirting

So I’ve already admitted to the fact I am a terrible hoe. Next on that list is being a terrible flirt. It becomes mental gymnastics when your unsure if a person is polyamorous or not. Its even more of a mine field when you have people misrepresent themselves as polyamorous also.

Now don’t get me wrong I am very confident. I’ve accepted myself both good and bad. I know who I am mind, body and soul and appreciate the current state it is in. However if you were to put me on a practical attractiveness scale I usually fall on a 7 without makeup. So while embracing myself, I am fully aware not everyone is going to embrace me.

So anytime I feel just a smidgen of acceptance from someone that is attractive I immediate want to see about all the possibilities. However I am a realist above all things. I know not every guy that is nice to me is flirting with me. Here is where it becomes complicated and at times awkward for me. Since poly talks are still a tad taboo, to bring it up in regular conversation can open a lot of things. For men it either unlocks their genuine curiosity or blatant disrespect.

I’ve stopped flirting with my mutuals on Tik Tok because it never works out. I’ve accepted the fact that its one of three things:

  • Distance
  • I’m not attractive enough to pursue just a relationship with no marriage
  • They were just being nice and nothing more

Does it hurt ? Sure but I’m becoming use to this behavior and oddly understand it. Do I wish I was worth the effort for certain people. Sure I do but fuck’em. They are missing out on the time of their lives and I know this. Not cocky yet like I said before confident. The rejection is chipping away at my confidence though.

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