I can’t speak for everyone but I tend to find that most polyamorous people I know happen to be demisexual sluts. Shout to my mutual @homesliceproductions from Tik Tok for introducing that term to me. It makes dating especially casual hookups hard for me. Never had good experiences with them except for a few days ago. I finally figured out my boundaries for hookups. Here is how I made it.

I enjoy sex but I also have self restraint. Christianity taught me to be ashamed of being sexual for so long, it still has a affect on me. So hookup culture to me is not ultimately not something I want or into. However I had gotten to the point of pure frustration with my dating situation and really wanted some sex. So started talking to a guy, we’ll call Shadow.

Turns out Shadow and I have a few things in common as far as creative goals. He made it clear he didn’t want a relationship. I told him my intentions and we were at a stalemate for awhile. We would start and then stop. We were in this cycle for hours. Then I thought to myself ” You are not a bad person if you decide to have sex. You want to have sex and that’s ok. There is no shame to be had here.” I explained my fears before hand and he assured me that he wouldn’t abandon me no matter what the circumstances are. While he can’t offer a relationship due to his past pain, he can offer a genuine bond. So we had sex.

We decided to hookup again today but to be honest it will be the last time. While don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I did and I feel better. I want something else. Like this was a nice in between just to relieve some tension in my body. Other then that I can’t have a ongoing hookup with Shadow. We will be working together and frankly if I had to choice money or sex, give me the money. This is the type of person that I know can creatively push me and I know continuing to hookup like this will ruin it.

I will say this though. It was nice to let my proverbial hair down and enjoy without thinking too hard about the other stuff. However now I know I’ve got two hookup session in me and after that no more. You either date me or we keep it friendly. I’m really glad I found some hookup boundaries for myself because I deserve to let loose sometimes and not be so serious. Ya know have some fun.