I dumped my husband, Greg after four months of dating him. We spoke different love languages which I recognize now. Even though we decided to stop dating I still wanted to be friends and he agreed. I needed to move out of my place and dreaded doing the roommate arrangement again. However at the time my choices were limited. I asked Greg if he would be interested in moving into a two bedroom with me and he agreed. At that point we had become really good friends.
We did see other people for a few months of living together as roommates but we always spent time together as friends. Once we realized that we enjoyed spending time together we decided to date again. This was still a time when monogamy and being a righteous Christian was something I was trying to achieve, so naturally it made sense to get married. After a little under a year of us dating we got married July 2016.
Sometime shortly after the events of How We Got Here, The One Who Got Away and my first ex, Greg and I had a real conversation about monogamy and the current feelings we were experiencing outside of it. That conversation was truly eye opening. During this time we learned a lot about each other and our needs. We also discovered that we still very much loved each other despite the events of the past but we need a better understanding polyamory and what it meant for us. Shortly after my ex, Greg and I attended out first ENM social event.
So many people get put off by the fact that we are married but here is the thing. I love Greg as is. He doesn’t have to change nor be something that he isn’t. I know who I fell in love with. I also know that there certain part of myself that will resonate with another but not like with Greg. It is simply incomparable. There is no competition in polyamory to me. If anything its a team effort for these dynamics to work.
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