I’m not sure if its the time of the month or what but the way things are shaping up currently I don’t have much of a dating life. As a matter a fact I haven’t been with anyone from my rooster and no plans to meet with exception of Chicago Bae. Everyone else I have no clue if we’ll make it out of the winter months. Everytime I get into this mood I unfortunately think back about my ex and how easy it was.

Let’s be clear. I don’t want him back or even see him in life. As far as I’m concerned he is a people pleaser and a pussy. Also what we had was a complete joke to him. Those Ex Lessons are not just for you but myself. To remind myself that things do get better with time. That things will not be what they were before. To embrace change and something different. That I shouldn’t settle and I deserve the right partners in my life.

The process of it all I must say makes me bitter when I see other poly people have success. It makes me feel as if its me that’s the problem, however I know everything in life is not 100% my fault. I’m sure the most successful poly relationships have had pitfalls and challenges of their own that are invisible to the naked eye. On the bright side to see the success of said couples gives me hope that the ideal dynamic for me can and will happen. I just don’t want to feel bitter anymore about any of it.