Seriously throw them all away. Ok maybe not all but I think at times they can be counter productive to their own cause. Why do I say this ? I did a Tik Tok post about how dating coaches are bias and don’t really help all their cliental truly. One of the comments left there truly stuck out. It stated:
100% agree. I’m happily married now but before I was I was told having multiple relationships or romantic feelings for more than 1 person was wrongfrom @otakuwire on Tik Tok
How can a dating coach have your best interest when they don’t carter to you basic desires and needs? Not just monogamous people but polyamorous people alike. I am sure there are a few that do but its extremely rare. To tell a client that the way they are most comfortable in love and relationships is wrong is a terrible start. I personally find dating coaches are very much one dimensional in their approach. It can make a client not feel entirely at ease expressing their dating preferences like the commenter from my post. I mean their job is to help find true love but what is true love ? There is no one universal way to be in relationship, especially when you take into account varying gender and sexuality.
Furthermore let’s talk about the definition of marriage.
This a basic Google search but if you read close there is no where in the definition the words exclusive nor monogamous are there. The idea of monogamy is strongly suggested but never explicitly stated. Also it doesn’t say anything about forsaking others either. One reason I believe this is because marriage means different things in various parts of the world. While we don’t really practice polygamy and polyandry here in America, other countries certainly do.
I think once dating coaches ask better question instead of pushing the same narrative to every client there would be more success. Questions like:
- Would you prefer a monogamous or ethical non-monogamous relationship ?
- How do you normally date ? Do you date one at a time or many partners ?
- What is your ideal long term partnership ? How many partners ?
- What are your expectations of he/she/they and could they change ? If so what would be the cause for change ?
Just to list a few off the top of my head. Maybe as ENM become more normalized we may see that change. I personally will never trust one.
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