Wasn’t expecting a post like this. I guess this to clear the air on my feelings toward monogamy and those that practice it. I think there is a huge misconception that because people participate in ENM relationships that we look our noses down on others.
As I stated before I come from a Christian background that taught me that monogamy was the way. That monogamy was part of God’s perfect design and one of illustration of covenant. However with some Christian theology would also not permit a gay nor lesbian couple to marry even if they were monogamous which to me is just down right cruel. Yet monogamy is one of the most practiced dating dynamics even if your not religious or even believe there is a God.
I think that if you two people find joy in being in their exclusive relationship, there is no shame. In fact I think it is unique and something beautiful when two people get each other to the point of never wanting nor entertaining one’s curiosity. I especially appreciate those that are honest enough to say they do have external relational fantasy but do nothing about it. I have the perfect example of this.
My husband and I are friends with a Brooklyn couple. The husband has a HUGE crush on one of my best friends. Now like any married couple, things are never perfect. When I asked why not consider ENM, his response ” If my wife did anything outside of us I would be devastated, so I wouldn’t do that to her.” That is what monogamy is all about. Not having a problem belonging to each other exclusively no matter what.
Monogamy isn’t just something you do because everyone else is. My ex being the best example. May 2020 after me calling him out he blocked me making this ” grand speech” to which I’m sure he meant it but his actions spoke louder. Especially when that September he cyber cheated on her with yours truly. I know I know but I’ve grown since then.
My point being that monogamy should feel natural. It shouldn’t feel like your trying to fit in or “its how things have always been”. Don’t rock the boat as it were. True love, no matter the presentation, as long as its true to who you are is the best thing for everyone. Everyone deserves love on their own terms with obviously consenting partners.
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