Ex Lesson #3: Desire what you want, not what you had

One of the biggest reasons it was hard for me to date again because I really loved how things were before. For the first time I felt balance in my love life and it felt wonderful. This was exactly what I wanted, a husband and boyfriend (my ex wasn’t my bf but you get it) and I felt that I was going to make that happen.

So naturally when it was over, I tried so hard to replicate “our love” when the reality was I knew I couldn’t for a few reason:

  1. He didn’t really love me so why would I want another liar in my life ?
  2. He had no self identity ( He told me he was going to kill himself the week before he met me)
  3. Communication was poor at the end
  4. He wasn’t polyamorous

Moral of the Story: You can miss how things were with someone but strive toward your dynamic no matter what ! It will be hard but the payoff, well worth it.

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