Ex Lesson #1: Never date a monogamous person who is “experimenting with love”

If polyamory were just about sex it wouldn’t have taken nearly 3 years to get over six months of, heck to be honest I don’t know what to call it. At the time Greg and I weren’t communicating like we do now and I was tired of us trying to be monogamous when it wasn’t working for either of us. 2019 is when I want to say I really started to do more research about polyamory.

After reading a few things I decided to tell Greg this is what I wanted to try and he agreed. We weren’t part of any groups yet and that becomes a problem later on but that’s another post. When I met my ex on POF, in the beginning he expressed to me that he always found himself in these relationships that never worked and decided he would try something outside of monogamy. However when I asked him what his goals were there were the typical socially acceptable heterosexual family norm. I should have walked away then and never bothered.

While there is no cardinal rule in polyamory that says ” Never date monogamous people.” I IMPLORE those that are polyamorous and choice to pursue a relationship with a monogamous person, to ask two question:

  1. What is your end goal relationship dynamic ? Is it a wife and kids? Define what family means to you ?
  2. Would you be able to be in a relationship with me and support me if I continue to be polyamorous and you wanted to be monogamous ?

If a monogamous person ever answers “I’m trying something new” or still “unsure” of what they want, don’t bother because it will not last. Take it from someone who went as far as meeting my ex’s family and friends (his idea not mine) and being told he would ” consider a relationship “. Monogamous or not you want someone that is sure of what they want and don’t deter from it. Toward the end it was nothing but lies on his part to persevere his “good noodle” imagine.. Let’s just say he can think that if he wants to.

Moral of the Story: If they’re ACTIONS (not words, lies remember) show they don’t love you, you are just a experiment and you MUST run (not walk) run away.

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